calendar open on table with flowers in a vase

Sure, we’ve all heard the knock on resolutions – the majority are dropped after a few days or weeks. But who can resist a shiny new calendar and a chance to plan for a better year? Threads of Life staff got together to help you with a list of potential resolutions to help you heal in the new year. As with any advice, pick and choose what works for you – take one or more, or leave them all!

Kate says: Trust your instincts. People will be very willing to give you advice whether you ask for it
or not. Trust to your heart that you do know what is best for you. When you really aren’t sure, seek advice from someone you have confidence in that has your best interests in mind.

Lorna and Sherrie say: Don’t try to put a time frame on grief. Don’t feel pressured to “get over it” in a specific time frame. Each of us travels our own path of healing. Your personal journey can take a month a year or even more.  We all grieve differently and have our own style of healing. Share your story in a safe place with people traveling similar paths such as a Family Forum.

Susan says: Share your story. Threads of Life believes that sharing your story helps you heal — so find someone you can talk to about your loved one or your own experience, or make this the year you write your story for the newsletter. Get a blank piece of paper and pen. At the top of the paper, write “Here’s how it all started:” and go on from there!

Shirley says: Spend time with a pet. Take your pet for a walk or sit and brush them.  A friend may have a pet that you could borrow? If you don’t have a real pet, get a stuffy. You can talk to them whenever you like about whatever you like. They are good listeners and won’t offer advice.

Kelley says: Take care of yourself physically. Mind and body are connected. Get enough rest and eat properly. Feeling better physically can help you feel better emotionally. Cry when you want to. Don’t let anyone hand you a Kleenex to make you stop! Just go for it…

Patti says: Deal with grief head on.  I know from experience that you should not ignore it as I think that it makes it harder to deal with future grief.

Sarah says: Cut yourself some slack. On days where it feels like your best is not close to enough, remember that healing is a life-long journey, as is growth. You’re doing your level best, and it is absolutely enough.

Scott says: Reach out. Consider talking with a Threads of Life volunteer family guide. Like you these volunteers are experiencing a workplace tragedy and can provide support along your journey of healing.

Sharon and Heather say: Allow yourself to honour your loved one, especially at this time of year.  Don’t feel guilty about remembering and mentioning their name. They are still very much a part of who you are and your family. Tell their story. Remember to laugh about the good memories.

Kate says: Laugh more! Sometimes it is not easy to find joy, happiness or humour in anything but laughter is good medicine and good exercise! The internet is full of funny cat videos if you need a start or you can try laughter yoga and fake it till it comes naturally once again.

Sandra says: Break it up. Twelve months can seem very daunting and perhaps even overwhelming. It is said if you can stick with something for 21 days it should become a habit, so give yourself shorter-term goals. Try one of our resolutions (or something completely different) for one month and then add another month. Check in with yourself at the three-month mark. If something is not working, don’t beat yourself up; just try something else, or a different approach.

Don’t miss some expert advice next week on how to keep the resolutions you make!

Susan Haldane